Tag Archives: get your blue and red on

Baseball Friday Morning

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THIS IS CJ WILSON. He is a member of the baseball hipster club. AWW FUCK YEAH! There are like three people in that and the other two are on the Giants. CJ Wilson is a starting pitcher for the Texas Rangers. That team is like, owned by GEORGE W. BUSH AND IT IS DISGUSTING, but if the Rangers are your thing anyway, that’s okay. If you don’t mind that they were beat by the Giants in the World Series last year.

CJ Wilson is 2 L33T, or whatever. You can tell because he is from CALIFORNIA. That is how you know he is the real deal. He was drafted to the Rangers in the 5th round in 2001. He went to Loyola Marymount, so obviously he is probably not Catholic because most of the people at Catholic schools aren’t Catholic. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT, PEOPLE?

He is 30, so it is okay to perve on him. THIS ONE TIME, AUBREY HUFF GREW UP AS A TEXAS RANGER FAN. AUBREY HUFF IS THE GIANTS MAIN FIRST BASEMAN…OH WAIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT CJ. ALL THE GIRLS WANT TO GET UP ON CJ. HE WEARS GIRL’S JEANS AND BEANIES AND HAS DONE EVERYTHING YOU’VE THOUGHT OF BEFORE IT WAS EVEN INVENTED, LET ALONE BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS SO TRENDY, HE’S ON TWITTER. I MEAN, THAT IS A BRAND NEW TECHNOLOGY. HE DID IT BEFORE IT WAS COOL, PROBABLY. HIS NAME IS @STR8EDGERACER .

THIS IS BECAUSE CJ IS A TAOIST AND BELIEVES IN LIVING “STRAIGHT EDGE.” I TOLD YOU THIS MOTHER FUCKER WAS NOT PLAYING AROUND. HE HAS STRAIGHT EDGE TATTOOED DOWN HIS TORSO. THIS GUY IS SO BADASS HE CAN GET TATTOOS AND THEY PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HURT HIM CAUSE HE IS LIKE SOME BUDDHIST SHIT. ALSO THE RACER PART COMES FROM WHEN HE RACES CARS IN HIS “FREE TIME”

DO YOU EVER HAVE FREE TIME LIKE THAT? I DO NOT THINK SO. EVERYONE SIT IN LOTUS AND TRY TO REACH NIRVANA. CAUSE CLEARLY THAT IS WHAT CJ IS ALL ABOUT.

TODAY WE CANNOT EVER ROOT FOR THE RANGERS, AND RANGERS PITCHERS (*COUGH*NOLAN RYAN*COUGH*) ARE USUALLY WAY OVERRATED. BUT WE CAN FLOAT SOME GOOD KARMA TO HIM, OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HE BELIEVES IN.

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